By Kat Holleran
You’re browsing the racks in Saks, flipping through blouses and jeans carefully. Suddenly you see the most incredible jacket. The leather is stiff and sturdy but still cozy, the fur is enough but not too much. Just picture how cool you will look in early December walking out of the NYC apartment you could never afford to the job you could never attain in THIS. JACKET.
The saleswoman appears behind you. “Hi! Want me to start a fitting room for you?” she asks politely. You panic—you haven’t even checked the price tag yet. You stutter, “uh, sure. I’m just going to pick out a few more things…,” and grab a random pair of pants and a sweater to bring with you.
In the dressing room you can see that you were right all along. The jacket is perfect. It fits like a dream. It makes you look like a badass. It will keep you so. fricking. warm. Then comes the knock: “How are those things working out for you?” the kind employee asks you. You open the door to ask her opinion on the jacket. “That looks fabulous on you!” (duh). Nervously, you pop the question. Slowly, you start off with, “Yeah! I really like it a lot…,” and then work your way into “Do you know how much it is?” When she tells you, it’s like a punch in the gut. How many digits was that?! So then you have to do that horribly awkward thing where you pretend you’re trying to decide whether or not to get it, when really you and the saleswoman both know there is no way in hell you’re buying that expensive jacket. You smile and slump back into your room, change into your somewhat reasonably priced clothes, and try to sneak out of the store without anyone noticing.
Or maybe that’s just me.
Anyway, here are a few exorbitantly and unreasonably expensive things that I would still buy if I could.
Valentino Ballerina Boots:
So what if they’re $955—if I could afford them, I’d own them.
Opening Ceremony x Kodak Bomber Jacket:
For novelty purposes, because why the heck not. It’s also just awesome.
Ecru Colored Jumpsuit:
Who doesn’t want to dress like Luke Skywalker casually? I know do.
For Friday nights at Brick, naturally.
I don’t own any bodysuits, but I can see this being my first… when I have $2,325 to spare.
I want this so desperately that it’s kind of gross. I printed a picture of it to hang on my wall.
Vetements Hoodie You’ve Probably Seen All Over Instagram:
Photo courtesy of Ssense
I don’t drool over Vetements like many of street-wearers savviest, but I actually really like this hoodie. And at $1,210 it better be the most freaking comfy hoodie ever.
Bejeweled YSL Handbag:
I’m pretty sure I don’t have to explain this one.
Miu Miu Ballet Flats:
I just want these for my feet. I really do.